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  ― 291 ―

The Geebung Taytotal Society

Mrs. McSweeney's Lament.

'Twas the red-lether day of me loife,
Whin Pathrick McSweeney first married me;
Whin he made me his own wedded woife,
And away for the honeymoon carried me.

Although things are not all that they same,
And though Cupid's professions are brittle ones,
Yet the first year flew by loike a dhrame,
And the whole of our throubles were “little ones.

In the corner Pat kept a cruiskeen,
Though of whiskey he'd not take a lot of it,
But in toime it was plain to be seen,
That shtill fonder and fonder he got of it.

He would take it to kape out the could,
For the heat - he would just take a sup of it,
Until nought could be purchased or sould,
Till the bargain was clinched wid a cup of it.

  ― 292 ―
And noight after noight would I wait,
Till the clock had shtruck midnight expectin' him,
And me trouble was sad to relate,
When I found that the dhrink was affectin' him.

I'd besache him his Biddy to plaze
By avoidin' such gross insobriety,
And I'd beg him on both of me knees
Just to join the Taytotal Society.

I would say, “You're a baste and a hog,
And I don't know whatever to do wid you,
For you lade me the loife of a dog,
And me once rosy chakes are quite blue wid you.”

"Faith! I'll lave you, and let you go free,
Since you cause me no end of anxiety,
If you won't give up whiskey for me,
And join the Taytotal Society.”

Then I coaxed him, and petted him so,
Persistently kept on insistin' it,
That he said, “He supposed he must go,
As he couldn't be afther resistin' it.”

  ― 293 ―
"Arrah! Biddy, me darlin',” said he,
"You have got such a swate wheedlin' way wid you,
Faith, I'll dhrink nothing shtronger than tay,
And I'll give up the whiskey, and shtay wid you.”

So he wint to the matin' that noight,
Afther dhressin' himself wid propriety,
And he soon was a glitherin' loight
Of the Geebung Taytotal Society.

For they gave him a banner to bear,
And a collar wid gilt and gold lace on it,
Such as Malachi once used to wear,
Before thraitors brought down such disgrace on it.

And I felt loike a bride newly wed,
And wid joy was replete to satiety,
Whin he marched through the town at the head
Of the Geebung Taytotal Society.

But me heart grew quite heavy and sore,
Afther all I had done in amindin' him,
Whin he shtaggered one noight to me door,
Wid a party of Geebungs attendin' him.

  ― 294 ―
They explained as they led him along,
Wid a great affectation of piety,
"They sapposed that the tay was too shtrong
At the Geebung Taytotal Society.”

And he goes to the matins' each noight,
Though I now thry to kape him away from 'em,
And I'm in a continual froight,
But I cannot induce him to shtay from 'em.

He now tipples away widout end,
And he takes it in greater variety,
For he says that they taught him the blend
In the Geebung Taytotal Society.

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